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26th September 2004
* // Hooker With A Penis
[Full Name]: Dani John Wilkens Jr. :
[Birthday]: March 7, 1987
[Place of Birth?]: Pomona Valley, CA
[Eye/Hair Color]: Brown / Black
[Siblings?]: 2 sisters, 2 brothers
[Who do you live with?]: Me mum and me bro.
[You get along well?]: When we want to. My mom and I are pretty close, but not so much at the same time.
[Ever ran away?]: Kind of...
[If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?]: Somewhere where I know I'm safe.
[Worst thing you've ever done?]: I think I made fun of Allen's dead mom. That was fucked up.
[Been arrested?]: No, taken into custody for tobacco possession.
[Make Love not War]: Of course.
[Want any piercings or tattoos?]: NO SHIT! :-D
[Have a stance on abortion?]: It's not my life... The world is over-populated as it is, so I guess I'd be pro-choice, but at the same time I don't know.
[Would you rather be blind or deaf (if you had to choose)?]: Oh, I'd rather be blind. I love music too much.
[You wanna be famous one day?]: + shrugs +
[What do you look for in the opposite sex?]: Opposite sex?
[Do you watch porn?] It depends how horny I am, or how drunk or high I am with my friends. We like to make fun of it.
[You like rollercoasters?]: Oh fuck yeah!
+Do you Believe In - ?+
[Organized Religion]: No. I believe in self-belief. I have satanist philosophies, but I don't follow a set religion.
[A Higher Power]: Eh...
[Mythological Creatures - such as: Unicorns, Leprechauns, Werewolves, Vampyres, or the Loch Ness Monster]: My brother is a mystical beast...
[Urban Legends]: No, not so much.
[Love]: Love is great at bringing you up to the highest pedestal of bliss, and it is also great at toppling you down.
[Love At First Sight]: No, that is lust.
[Superstitions]: + steps on a crack +
[Your Country]: Eh, when I want to. I am too selfish and my life to care about the other people in the country.
+What's your Favorite - ?+
[Food]: Chow Mein, Orange Chicken, Sushi, Burritos, Enchiladas, Tacos, Hamburgers, Pizza, etc.
[Non-Alcoholic Beverage]: I am a coffee fanatic.
[Alcoholic Beverage]: Anything fruity and not too strong. I'm a pussy drinker.
[Soda (even though this does qualify as a non-alcoholic beverage)]: Diet Pepsi or Vanilla/Cherry Coke.
[Dessert]: Ice cream... Without nuts. And not too fruity. I like vanilla with stuff in it.
[Season]: Winter or Autumn.
[Scent]: Rain, coffee, incense...
[Color]: Black / Blood Red / Dark Purple / Fuschia / Hot Pink / Red / Dark Blue
[TV Show(s)]: I don't watch a lot of TV... Maybe "Queer As Folk" or "Uranium" or "Rockzilla" or "Mad TV".
[Cartoon(s)]: When I watch TV, I like to watch "Family Guy", "South Park", "Daria", "The Simpsons", "King of the Hill", "Beavis and Butthead", "Invader Zim", etc.
[Movie(s)]: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Edward Scissorhands, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Jawbreaker, The Craft, etc.
[Actor(s)]: Johnny Depp, probably.
[Actress(es)]: Angelina Jolie & Rose McGowan.
[Song(s)]: "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson, "Antichrist Superstar" by Marilyn Manson, (a shitload of Manson, baby), "3 Libra's" by A Perfect Circle, "Pagan Poetry" by Björk, "Gutter Glitter" by Switchblade Symphony, "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, "Her Ghost in the Fog" by Cradle of Filth, "Vivica" by Jack Off Jill, etc.
[Band(s) / Artist(s)]: Marilyn Manson, Jack Off Jill, A Perfect Circle, Tool, Cradle of Filth, Kittie, The Distillers, My Ruin, Otep, Switchblade Symphony, Fiona Apple, Tori Amos, Alanis Morissette, Björk, KoRn, Slipknot, Garbage, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Madonna, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, MSI, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Rob Zombie, System of a Down, Wumpscut, Skinny Puppy, Rasputina, Butterfly Messiah, Two Witches, etc.
[Book(s)]: I'm not a big reader.
[Quote]: "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers."
+Can you - ?+
[Speak another language?]: I can speak part Spanish and a little French.
[Tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue?]: I've never tried.
[Touch your nose with your tongue?]: Huh?
[Put both legs behind your head?] I can put a leg behind my head...
[Play an instrument]: I used to play piano, but I've lost talent.
[Tell the difference between New Found Glory and Simple Plan]: There is no difference. They're both pussy-ass bands.
[Do a cartwheel]: No, I can't.
[Ride a unicycle]: I've never considered.
[Whistle]: Of course.
[Skateboard]: Not really.
[Surf]: No, I used to boogie board.
[Change a tire]: I'm kind of slow.
[Juggle]: No, I can't.
[Take care of yourself]: lol, Yeah.
[Handle constructive criticism]: It depends on the situation.
+Are you - ?+
[Honest]: For the most part.
[Ambitous]: No, not really.
[Optimistic or Pessimistic]: Neither.
[Apathetic]: Kind of.
[Loyal / Faithful]: I am way faithful to you if I love you.
[Lazy]: Oh, definitely.
[Sympathetic]: A little too sympathetic.
[Happy]: I'm never really happy.
[Depressed]: Most of the time.
[Narcissistic]: Just a bit.
[Rude]: It depends on the situation.
[Emotional]: Oh God, yes.
[Promiscuous]: Not lately.
[Addicted to anything]: Cigarettes, Attachment, Selfishness.
[Grateful]: I am grateful that I have such caring friends. I'd be lost without them.
[Generous]: Yeah, when I can be.
[Persistent]: Oi. I am out of line.
[Easily Annoyed]: Yes.
[Easily Pacified]: Yes.
[Easily Amused]: Sometimes.
[Flirtatious]: Not too much, but I can be.
[Kinky]: It depends on how horny I am.
+Fill in the Blanks+
[I can't live without ____ ]: Music.
[Seafood is ____ ]: Good.
[The Olsen Twins ____ ]: Are aliens.
[I wish ____ ]: ignorant people were smashed by God's hand.
[ ____ should rule the world]: Marilyn Manson
[If I was an animal, I'd be a ____ ]: Raven.
[When I grow up, I want ____ ]: to be loved and to be happy.
[The most annoying thing in the world is ____ ]: stupidity.
[You should never ____ ]: give your whole heart into a relationship if you aren't extremely all-knowing of the partner's emotions.
[The best feeling in the world is ____ ]: being loved and being in love.
[I'm happy when ____ ]: I am in love.
[ ____ is/are sexy.]: Trent Reznor
* // Thaeter
So Mandi and I went down to Santa Ana tonight to go see bands play at the Galaxy theatre last night. The special feature was Handsome Devils. Dude, I had a fucking KICK ASS time. I met some of the musicians backstage after the show. We went into a special area where some people were just smokin' weed and other people were packing the bands' shit in the vans. The first band who played was pretty emo, and they drew attention to the preppy girl crowd. Oh God, they were annoying. But after the first band was finished, I've noticed that all of the preppy girls had gone, as well. Rock on! And Mandi and I took pictures and shit, and we went down in the pit to see her friend Darrel play. He gave me merchandise, so I'm pimpin' hardcore now, baby. I also met Mandi's Hollywood friend Noele. Nice chick, mmhmm. There was this one guy who was getting carried onstage by the crowd and he got escorted out by the security guards. Before the show, Mandi and I stopped by Del Taco to eat. She pissed so much, it was funny. I had been out of it all day, cuz last night I was getting stoned at Brittney's house. And I was still high this morning. So I was like all gone last night. It's all good, though. I still had a fun time. It was my first show... I'm planning on going a lot more later on. But right now I am hella tired and I gotta crash. I hadn't slept yet and Mandi had just dropped me off like an hour or so ago. So, later.
25th September 2004
* // Ignore the Machine
I just got home from Brittney's house. I am talking to Kyle right now. Indeed. I am fucking high right now. I got stoned this morning before I left and I got stoned last night. Last night Kelly and 3 of her friends came over. They were like 8th graders or something. I think their immature behaviour was amusing. They were jumping around to Paula Cole like she was the coolest thing. And they also danced to Cyndi Lauper... I intentionally put in chick music to mock them. They also screamed when my cat and dog were fighting. Well, finally I kicked them out. Then Josh called and asked if I had eaten dinner yet, and when I said no he came to pick me up. He took me out to Star East Buffet. We pigged out on sushi and orange chicken. I fucking LOVE Chinese food! Then after ice cream we left pack to my house. He left supposedly to Jill's house and I went online for a couple of minutes, waiting for Rob to pick me up. Coral and Corinne were with her; we all went back to Chelsie's house. After a while we went to this guy Scott's party by Coral's house. But faggot ass Scott wasn't even home... He gave Coral the party instructions and they were at his house, but he was said to be at another party. So we had to leave. We went to Brittney's house. Chelsie and Rob were uncomfortable with the weed situation, so they just sat down and watched TV. Coral and Corinne joined me, Brittney, and Brittney's brother Kyle. I was fucking high. They others left and we three got really sleepy so we just crashed. But right when I woke up around noon we smoked out again. I was and still am high... I had a little breakfast before Josh picked me up. I am very hot right now... Dammit! Tonight I'm going to see a show at some club with Mandi. I need some ice cream. So I'll leave now.
22nd September 2004
* // Carolyn's Fingers
I came home sick again today. This is my sixth day home from school. It's getting ridiculous. I talked to Mandi about Saturday. She doesn't want me to smoke, dammit. Oi... Kelly and her friend (I forgot her name) came over. We stood outside and talked. I took new pictures, yay. I'm feeling slightly better than how I did earlier. I heard from Kelly that today was Allen's last day at Granite. I still don't know if this is good news or bad news. I feel kind of bad condescending him all the time. I don't really want to leave him on bad terms... Oh well, I guess. At school I did my French work, but for P.E. I sat out and wrote to myself. I painted myself a picture in Art today... I just found out that my grade in art dropped down from an A- to an F. So yeah. I'm fucking happy about that! Now I'm failing all but French! I'm fucking wonderful! GOD. Besides school... I'm talking to Rob right now. I'm waiting for Scott to come online. I miss him. Oi... I had a dream today... Brittney was in it, and so was asshole Allen. I remember I was following them somewhere... They were holding hands and they went to a convention of somesort. I saw Joey (this one creepy kid at our school) holding a sign that said "Frankie" and I remember looking through the halls for Allen and Brittney, through the kitchen and through the pool... Then I woke up by the telephone... I wonder what it could mean... But anyways, let me think of something else to talk about. I'll get back to you later.
20th September 2004
* // Flowers Become Screens
Thursday night I got no sleep at all. I went to bed around 4:25 and I got up around 6:05. Later that night I went with Rob and Corinne to Starbuck's. We had a mocha and we smoked and talked for a bit. Corinne talked to her Jon for the longest time... KC's sister Kristen came to Starbuck's... She sat down and started to smoke. She was with a black man... She left her lighter there. Rob took that shit, haha. When Corinne finally got off the phone with Jon, we called Josh and he was at Jill's getting drunk. We went back to Chelsie's house. Chelsie was in her room playing The Sims 2. I played with her. We made a new family consisting of me, Corinne, Coral, and Chelsie. It was so funny. Then Rob took me home 'round midnight. I stayed online for a little bit, then went to bed. I woke up around noon the next day. Sarah had called me and asked if I wanted to stay the night at Deila's. I ended up going. Deila, Jason, Sarah, Coral, and I went to the supermarket to get the alcohol. Since I no longer desire hard alcohol Coral and I bought Mike's hard lemonade. Sarah was pissed off at us. Coral and I were flying around the store like super heroes and acting like fools. + shrugs + I love that broad. :-D We went back to Deila's house and hung out... waited for Deila's friend Michelle to get there. Michelle's pretty cool. She does the best Cartman impression. And also Jason was to pick up Amelia, and I hadn't seen 'dat bitch fo'eva! I got to see my Millie. And while everyone else helped Deila with her essays Sarah and I played with the make-up. We started to drink the light alcohol and we listened to Coral play songs on her guitar. We sang our own rock cover of Britney Spears' song "Everytime". It was fucking cool. Eventually Rob, Chelsie, and Corinne came over. Corinne talked to Jon on the phone again and isolated the party... It's all good. I'd do the same if I could call my Scottie. <3 I didn't get drunk. I didn't even get buzzed. I had a couple of bottles of hard lemonade... but I also had the urge to take a couple shots, and I did... I kind of held back for a few seconds, but got it over with. No affect on me whatsoever. I still had a lot of fun. Rob gave me a lapdance, oh yes. And he stuck my head under his shirt. Oh baby yeah! I was gonna stay the night at Deila's that night, but I had things to do in the morning so I decided to leave when Rob, Chelsie, and Corinne left. They dropped me off at mah momma's and I went online for a bit then crashed until noon the next mornin'. The next day I called Scott. We talked for 40 minutes. I missed his voice... We talked about music and like we had nothing to say to one another because we were both in shock. He is in love with me... I am in love with him... And when he accidentally pulled the phone out of the wall, I went online to wait for him to go online. I had been thinking about it for a while, so I finally asked him. I asked if he wanted to start a long-distance relationship. He said "OMG, YES!" :-P so we are like officially a couple... A long-distance couple. This is the first relationship I've ever had like this, but we've been pulling it off since last year. We can pull it off longer. The only downside to yesterday was the supposed phone bill my mom might get... She's gonna be pissed! And she's gonna be hella pissed because I'm slacking hardcore in school right now. The only class I'm actually focusing on is French. I'm failing all the rest... I need to go on independent studies... I'm stressing right now, but I know it'll all turn out better... I brought this on myself... I need to get myself out of it.
17th September 2004
* // Rock Lobster
Last night Rob and Corinne came over for a little bit, after my mom had left for work. They went up to my room and we talked and such. When they left, I went back online. I couldn't sleep! I stayed up 'til like 4:30... No joke. I stayed up on coffee and vicodin, and eventually passed out... I needed a LITTLE sleep before school... This morning I woke up by the phone. My mom always calls us in the morning to tell us to have a good day and all that jazz. Then Heather called and she was waiting outside with Shellie and her brother. So we went to school and... I accidentally broke Heather's backpack... She had to use Shellie's. Anyways, I love Mrs. Wilson. She's the best teacher in the whole world. I wish all teachers were like her. And as for PE... I didn't dress out because someone told me that we were having an assembly about HIV awareness or something. This was my 5th non-suit. You can tell why I was aggravated before. My counselor said that I need to pass all my classes this year to graduate. Unfortunately that isn't gonna happen. 5 non-suits in PE automatically fails you for semester... So, I can't walk with my class. Isn't that a bitch... My mom's gonna be PLEASED. Understand that I really do wanna graduate... It is the only way I'll ever be happy with myself. I can talk to my mom about going to Willow to get caught up on credit and later come back towards the end of the year... On a lighter note, 3rd period was wonderful. The seniors were released to go to a senior's meeting in the theatre. It's the first time I've ever seen the theatre on the inside. It's pretty. There were a few preppy ass bitches sitting behind me, Christiaan, and Melissa and they kept talking and kicking the backs of our seats. Ugh... 4th period was an earthquake drill... We were out all period. We went to the fields and I hung out with Heather and Shellie for a little bit, but I eventually migrated over yonder to my other friends Mollie and Shade, and their friend Jessica. Shade showed me her notebook and her hair and blood collection. On the way to class we sang Manson lyrics cuz she, too, is a Mansonite. Heather was mad because I neglected her, but I apologized... In British Literature, we had a guest speaker from FIDM, a fashion institute in California. We learned about fashion trends starting back from the Dark Ages. It was interesting. During lunch Patrice, Frankie, Xiomarrah, and I gathered in a circle and drank Patrice's miniature bottle of Malibu in secret. It was interesting, but I was ashamed of myself. Then Patrice and I went over to Kiley and Ashley to see what they were up to. It was wonderful... I am in Business Math now and we are watching Donald Trump and his strange hair style... There are a lot of fuckers in this class, but it's all good! The bell's gonna ring in 10 minutes. I'm gonna go now. Bye, y'all.
15th September 2004
* // 21 Things I
Want In A Lover
What all has happened since I actually posted a nice entry? I had gone to Brittney's this weekend and I met her younger brother. We smoked out and watched "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas", a really bizarre movie to watch when you're stoned, mind you. We ended up fainting in the middle of the movie and in the morning we smoked out again and ate pancakes... and Ramen... and other stuff. Eventually my mom picked me up (when I was still high...) and we went back to the house. I had seen Josh and Michele the previous night before I went to Brittney's. Michele is staying up her for a while. I had seen Chelsie, Rob, Coral, and Corinne again the other night. We went to Starbuck's and then to Crossroads to see Ashely get her nipples pierced. We never actually went in and saw, but she got 'em done and I wanted to give her a tittie twister so bad, but I didn't (lol). After that we headed out to the old spot in the desert. The spot where Ashely, Chuck, Muzz, and I (and whoever else was with us) went to drink. We didn't drink, though. We socialized. Yeah. My views on Frankie have changed dramatically since I've last posted about him. I don't really know what I saw in him. He is just as his title implies, a freshman. And most freshmen act like freshmen. He goes and tells me how wonderful I am and that he's not bi but now he has a girlfriend called Xiomarrah. Nice girl, but come the fuck on. You're fucking gay so why do you need a girlfriend? It just leads the person on and then you hurt them. So I'm not really on the best terms with him right now, but he doesn't know this. I'm not direct with him anymore. The feelings that I thought I had are replaced with other ones. It's not his fault that he's immature. It's just his age limit, I guess. Oh well, though. I don't need anyone around here to complete me. I have my mind set on one person and one person only. And that is my Scott. I have never seen a picture of him and I've only talked to him on the phone once, but the more and more we speak the more and more I fall for him. I somehow confide in him. We've been talking online for almost a year and we are making plans for the future. He is in love with me, too. He found out about Frankie and for some reason that just made things all the better. He doesn't like reading about me making out with anyone else. He is jealous and for some reason that moved me. He said he really does care for me and that he does want a future (and a present) with me. We're gonna get married in Europe and we're gonna have a place up North and he's gonna own a record store and I'm gonna go to college to become a cosmetologist and we're gonna have a kittie named Siouxsie and we will live happily ever after... I hope...
About Me Personality Quiz
Created by jeffq1985 and taken 10157 times on bzoink!
|What is your name?||Dani|
|How old are you?||17|
|When is your Birthday?||March 7, 1987|
|What is your zodiac sign?||Pisces|
|Where were you born?||Pomona Valley, CA|
|Where do you live now?||Apple Valley, CA|
|What color eyes do you have?||Brown|
|What color hair do you have?||Black|
|How tall are you?||6'2"|
|How much do you weigh? (Be Honest Ladies)||195|
|What is your race?||I'm a mutt.|
|What is your worst fear?||Abandonment.|
|Do you smoke?||Yes.|
|Do you drink?||I'm a social drinker.|
|Do you cuss?||Every fucking second of my fucking life.|
|Do you use drugs?||Sometimes.|
|Have you ever or will you ever steal?||I have stolen cigarette packs before.|
|Are you dependable and/or trustworthy?||When I want to be.|
|Do you play in a band or play an instrument?||I make attempts at piano. I want to play bass, though.|
|Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?||When I turn 18 and when I get a job, hell yeah. But currently, no.|
|If you had a favorite serial killer who would it be?||Jack the Ripper / Jeffrey Dahmer|
|Do you suffer from depression disorder?||+ shrugs +|
|If you had a choice about how you wanted to die what would it be?||Overdose. Die young and beautiful. But die happy.|
|Have you ever tried to commit suicide?||I've never tried, but I've thought about it.|
|Have you ever purposely caused harm to yourself or someone else?||Yes.|
|What subculture do you belong too?||If I believed in stereotypes I'd be goth, but I just call myself an artist.|
|Are you evil?||Oh, very.|
|Do you believe that you can be possesed?||I don't know.|
|Are you a paranoid person?||When I'm stoned...|
|Do you ever get jealous of somebody else?||It depends.|
|Are you obsessive and/or compulsive?||I can be.|
|Are you a violent person?||Like I said, I can be.|
|Do you take your anger out on other people?||Yes.|
|Do you blame other people for your mistakes?||No.|
|What is your favorite game?||I haven't played video games in forever... I liked "Ocarina of Time".|
|What is your favorite movie?||The Rocky Horror Picture Show|
|Who is your favorite band?||Marilyn Manson|
|What is your favorite song?||"Gutter Glitter" by Switchblade Symphony.|
|What kind of books and/or magazines do you read?||I'm not too big on reading.|
|What is your favorite color?||Black / Burgandy / Fuschia / Pink / Dark Purple|
|What is your favorite food?||Hmm... Enchiladas!|
|What is your favorite drink?||Hmm... Diet Pepsi.|
|Do you own a pari of converse?||I do not.|
|Do you own a pair of dickies?||Nope.|
|Would you ever kill yourself or someone else?||Depends on the reason.|
|Are you a virgin?||No.|
|Are you kinky?||Of course.|
|Do you like biting?||Depends on my mood.|
|Do you masturbate?||Yes.|
|Do you watch pornography?||My friends and I watch it together and laugh. Or it depends on how horny I am.|
|Have you ever dyed your hair an unusual color?||I dyed the front of it pink once.|
|Have you ever shaved your head in a socially unacceptable way?||No.|
|Are you hyper active person?||It depends.|
|Are you religious?||I don't pay attention to religion, but I studied witchcraft a few months back.|
|Do you have any self inflicted scars?||None are noticeable.|
|Does pain turn you on?||Depends on how harsh.|
|Do you stand for originality and creativity?||So I'm told.|
|Do you like meeting new people?||It depends.|
|What do you like most about life?||I don't know.|
|What do you dislike most about life?||The majority of the people here.|
|Do you believe in love at first fright?||No.|
|Have you ever pierced a body part yourself?||I don't have access to the things, and even if I did I'd probably infect myself.|
|Have you ever had to beg for dinner money?||Hmm? I don't know.|
|Do you own a car?||I wish.|
|Have you been to jail, yet?||lol, No.|
|Are your clothes held together with safety pins?||No.|
|Do you have actual scars from punk rock shows?||I haven't been to a punk show yet.|
|Have you ever vomit while making out?||That would be so embarassing.|
|Have you held a job for less than a day?||I've never held a job, period.|
|Do you own more than two pair of jeans?||Uhh, yeah?|
|Have you ever had to fuck stuff up for no good reason?||I don't think so...|
|Have you ever been kicked out of your parents house?||Yeah.|
|Have you ever been fired from your job because of your attitude?||Like I said before...|
|Does the world piss you off?||Occasionally, but I deal.|
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8th September 2004
* // Knees Of
Well, it's been a few days since I've written. I guess I've been busy or some shit, but yeah. Anyways... I wanted to go to Brittney's Friday night, but I ended up not going. Friday evening I had gone to the park to see Frankie again. It was an interesting visit... We made out this time. And the scary part is that I'm the first guy he's made out with. I keep on feeling like a pedophile because he's a freshman and he's unexperienced, so I'm holding off on things for a while. But we did. And... I need to teach him how to be a good kisser, like how Chris taught me. I'll be way better than Chris. See, I fell for my mentor. My mentor didn't fall for me back. I'm Frankie's mentor and lately I've been getting rather clingy to him. I get all nervous when he comes around and I get jealous when other people talk to him... What's come over me? Woo! Here it comes again... I got home around '8 Friday night and fell asleep around '9. I woke up around '11 the next morning. I was online all day until that night Rob came and picked me up. We went back to Chelsie's house to get her. We were gonna go to Corinne's house to fetch her and Coral, but right when we got there they started pulling out of the drive-way. We called Corinne's cell phone and she said she was goin' back to Chelsie's. For why? I dunno. But Corinne had to take her mom to a bar on the other side of Apple Valley at the end of the highway and she was to pick her up at 1:30. She and Coral were able to stay the night at Chelsie's. So we danced to 80's music in Chelsie's drive-way until it was time to take off. We headed out to Hesperia to see Brittney and we got lost on the way. We were all pissed off and they forced me to call her, so I did and we found her house. I brought my weed with me. Yeah, I got weed earlier this week if I didn't mention it. We smoked a few bowls and everything was calm again. The only ones smoking were me, Brittney, and Corinne. Coral did it once in a while. Corinne, Brittney, and I got high. It was great. Rob and Chelsie were just sitting on Brittney's chair. I love going to Brittney's house, but I don't feel I stayed long enough. Later Corinne, Coral, Chelsie, and Rob left. I don't even remember going to get munchies with Brittney, but I did. We crashed around '3 or '4. We woke up by the phone at '8. Josh had called me and asked what I was doing for the rest of the weekend. He told me to get my things ready cuz he's takin' me to Elsinore to see Michele! I had to leave my Brittney dear. We went on the freeway listening to my music for a bit. In Lake Elsinore we got Del Taco and brought it back to Michele's house. Yay, I haven't seen Michele in forever! I love that lady :-P. We ate the Del Taco and went on the computer and listened to "Skeletor" and watched music videos and other shit. We went in her room and I played with her guitars and then she showed me really awesome music of which she owned. She has an awesome Remix CD by Switchblade Symphony and I thought it was hella cool. Around '4 I took out my weed and used Michele's pipe. They wanted to drink at '7... I was so high... again. Michele and Josh smoked with me, too. It was fun... We recorded our high and drunk moments on her CD Player. They made me drink. I didn't want to. They made me 2 mixed drinks. I hated it, like I knew I would. I don't drink! Oh, but I had a Smirnoff Triple Black. I got high instead. I was high so much this weekend, it was crazy. I remember Michele throwing up, Josh hitting on me, Michele and I having the munchies, and listening to us on the recorder. It was funny as shit. We say the funniest shit when we're stoned, haha. Deila, Sarah, and Amelia had called me on Josh's cell phone to see if I wanted to come over to Deila's but since I couldn't cuz I was in Elsinore they got mad. I felt kind of bad but I wanted to be high, lol. I passed out on Michele's bed and I woke up in the morning (well actually around '3... I slept for 12 hours) to them watching "Underworld" in the other room. I watched it with them and helped Michele clean the kitchen and we talked for a bit more... then Josh and I got ready to leave home. We said goodbye to Michele and left. On the freeway we stopped at Wendy's and ate there, then we went to Barnes & Noble so Josh could buy a book. Then we drove home and listened to Tool on the way. He dropped me off and I got 4 hours of sleep. Yesterday online Allen bitched at me and he told me he wanted to kick my ass and he said I had no true friends and that he was a wigga and that his niggaz would kick my ass and that I was a pussy and that I was a horrible person and that no one would ever love me and that he had a black girlfriend named Nicole and that he was a Juggalo. Juggalo Rydaz Neva Quit, being gay... He's an idiot. He threatened to kick my ass. Rob, Chelsie, Corinne, and Coral volunteered to take him down with me. I went to Starbuck's with Chelsie and Rob last nite for a bit. I wouldn't shut up... Since mom gave me $10 I bought a buy-one-get-one-free pack of Marlboro Menthol 27's and a Grande Caramel Mocha Frappuccino. It was great. They dropped me off and I went to bed since I couldn't log into my computer. I'm on my mom's, sadly. I woke up at 4:45 this morning to finish up French homework and to make coffee and have a good breakfast. I had time to take a nice shower an get ready. I'm gonna try to do the same tonight. Oh, and I wanted to go see Frankie at the park today, but there's always tomorrow. That is all I have to say about that. Tschiau.
4th September 2004
xx.Do you enjoy depressing music? I enjoy emotional music.
xx.What makes you sigh? Boredom and loneliness.
xx.How many hours a day, on average, do you spend feeling sorry for yourself? Not a lot...
xx.Who or what always brings you down? Heartbreak and trauma.
xx.Do you wear glasses? Sometimes.
xx.What frightens you? Niggaz.
xx.Do you wear sweaters all the time? I currently don't own a sweater.
xx.What makes you tick?
xx.How many times has your heart been broken? 3
xx.What do you think of Dashboard Confessional? Eh...
xx.Tell me about that time you broke that law! Hmm, if you call smoking weed a lot and underage drinking illegal, then I break it occasionally. (well, not so much drinking anymore)
xx.What or who pisses you off? Homophobes & Fucktards.
xx.Would you rather date a sissy or a homebody? Uhhh..
xx.Sex or drugs or breaking stuff? Sure.
xx.The Clash or The Ramones? I'm not too big on Punk music.
xx.What do you think about Anarchy? Yeah... fuck the government.
xx.Tell me about a prank you played! I play pranks?
xx.Do you do things that are "bad for your body"? Mmhmm.
xx.How many times have/were you kicked out of that place?! My dad kicked me out once.
xx.Are you in trouble all the time? I try not to be...
xx.Do you want to die? Eh... Death happens.
xx.What do you think about graveyards? I think graveyards are beautiful.
xx.Do you write poetry often? Of course.
xx.How much black clothing do you own? Lol, almost all of my clothing is black.
xx.What type of makeup do you wear? Foundation, thick black eyeliner, mascara, lipgloss, eyeshadow (purple or black), lipstick (red or black), etc.
xx.What do you think about pain? Pain is a reflection of your inner-workings.
xx.Masochism or sadism? Sadism.
xx.How do you feel about the rest of the world? Geez, it's great to see how FUCKED UP people are.
xx.Do you cry often? Depends on the situation.
xx.What do you think about vampires? Vampyres are interesting. I am not too keen of the people out there that do it when they have no grasp of what it's about.
xx.How messy are you in general? I dunno...
xx.Do you bang your head on things repeatedly? No, not really. But I tend to move around a lot.
xx.What do you think of mullets? Haha, old women with mullets...
xx.When did you start drinking alchohol? Last year.
xx.Do you go to concerts often? If I had money.
xx.What bands rock your pants off? A lot.
xx.What do you think about violence? It happens.
xx.Who or what makes you homicidal? People who do things to me for shitty excuses.
xx.Worship Satan or practice black magic? First and foremost I do not believe in a 'Satan' character. But magic(k) is rather intriguing. I don't practice, but I'm learning about it.
xx.How wild are you in general? I'm not really wild, I'm just crazy.
xx.Are you wearing any clean clothes right now? I wore these clothes yesterday.
xx.How often do you do the laundry? Once a week.
xx.Do you wear flannel shirts a lot? Don't own any.
xx.When was the last time you showered? ... 3 days ago?
xx.Do you speak clearly? Sometimes.
xx.Are you a lazy person? Aren't we all?
xx.Do you play any instruments? I wish I could play Bass...
xx.Who or what do you rant about a lot? Nonsense.
xx.Empathy or Sympathy? Empathy.
xx.What do you think about Nirvana? Kurt Cobain was great...
xx.What makes you different from the rest of them? I don't know...
xx.Who or what makes you bitter? Fuckers.
xx.What was the last big decision you made? I don't remember...
xx.Are you a happy-go-lucky type of person? Sometimes I am hyper-active, but very rarely am I truly happy-go-lucky.
xx.What do you think about conformity? I am, for the most part, a non-conformist. But I have to conform to some extent.
xx.How hard do you work to get what you want? I am, for the most part, a slacker.
xx.What do you resent? Inequality.
xx.Why might some people consider you to be an asshole? Because I am more open than I used to be about my feelings. I don't necessarily like a lot of people.
xx.Do you trust others? It just depends on who. I am usually open about anything with any of my friends, despite their reputation so it's my fault.
xx.Are you a loyal friend? I can be.
xx.Do you live in the ghetto? Lol, yeah...
xx.Have you ever even held a gun before? No.
xx.How much bling do you own? ...
xx.Would you rather have your best friend be a wangsta or a wigga? Is there a difference?
xx.Would you rather be bustin' caps or rollin' joints? "Rollin' joints"
xx.Big butts or big boobs? ...
xx.What's your best pickup line? I don't have one.
xx."Fo' Sho" or "Yeah, son"? NIGGA plz.
xx.What race are most of your friends? White or Hispanic.
xx.Ever been to prison? No.
xx.Who or what makes you so excited you piss your pants? Hmmm...
xx.Prep or Yuppie? ...
xx.How much money do you spend on bad music? I don't spend money on bad music. Period.
xx.Justin Timberlake or Nick Carter? They're both fags.
xx.Do you like mainstream music? No, not really.
xx.Do you want to be a pop diva? lol, Oh yeah...
xx.How many times, on average, do you say "like" in a sentence? I don't know... I don't even know if I say "like" all that much.
xx.OMIGOD or OMG? Uhhh, omg.
xx.Ditzy or just plain stupid? + shrugs +
* // Thank U
This is kind of just a thank you entry. I want to thank everyone who's been there for me this past year. I'm like on the verge of tears...// :
Thank You, Coral for being my best friend for 6 years. Your advice is muchly appreciated. You're my best friend and I fucking love you to death. Thanks for the kick-ass potato pancakes and for all those times you let me stay the night and take me places. You're the best!
Thank you, Corinne for being another best friend for 3 years. Thanks for letting me spend the nite at your house. And thanks for the wonderful talks we have of killing Skank. Thanks for introducing me to "Rocky Horror" as well as introducing me to Chelsie and Rob. Thanks for being a fucking kick-ass person!
Thank you, Ashely & Chuck for being wonderful friends. Ashely, you are on the top of my list. I feel as if I can tell you anything. Thanks for your wonderful advice. Thank you for taking me to Barstow, for contributing to me my smoking habits, for that wonderful "E" night, for all those times of contributing to minors with alcohol, for giving me my space, and for making me forget about "certain people". Thanks for always being there for me. You truly rock.
Thank you, Angel for being my wifey. You are absolutely at the top of my list. You are a wonderful person with a beautiful heart. I'm sorry that people around you are insanely fucked up, but I'm always here for you, baby-doll. I love you more than anything you can say and as soon as I get a vehicle I'm still gonna kidnap you. Thanks for calling me all the time and talking to me. Your conversations mean a lot to me.
Thank you, Muzz for always being there for me. You are probably the youngest best friend I have and I hope you never change. Thank you for being so tolerant of me and for introducing me to a lot of shit, like Beavis & Butthead, Mindless Self Indulgence, Slipknot, KoRn, and ICP. You are a fucking awesome dude and I hope you don't... die. Bleh! I love you, bro.
Thank you, Sarah for sharing your conversations with me. You're a great person; don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You mean a lot to me and I don't want to see you hurt. If you have any problems, just call me. I'm still here for you. Thanks for the "Vixen" keychain and thanks for the Starbucks. You're a great friend. Please don't change.
Thank you, Amelia for being one groovy piece of ass, lol. You are by far one of the coolest people I've ever come across. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been where I am today, I hope you realize this. I wouldn't have ever met Sarah, Deila, Jason, Richard, or any of those other people whom I've come across. I absolutely admire who you are. I don't want you to change either. Thank you for everything. I feel bad that you do so much for me and I don't really do as much back... I will pay you back, most definitely, when I can.
Thank you, Deila. Deila, Deila, Deila. I love you like a fat kid loves fucking cake, dammit. You and Jason are the coolest adults in the world. You've done so much for me... I'm still willing to show you how to make that Spanish rice, if you want. Your kids are wonderful, as are you. Thanks for all those wonderful nights of getting shitfaced at your apartment... I'll always cherish those memories. Thanks for contributing to me certain things, and thanks for the wonderful advice.
Thank you, Josh for being the coolest motherfucking queer on the planet. You are a fucking great person and I can't thank you enough for always being there for me. You truly do mean a lot to me. I love you so much and I am thankful that you are one of my friends. Thanks for taking me to Jill's as well as introducing me to Michele and a shitload of other people. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you hadn't entered my life. Thank you.
Thank you, Brittney for being the coolest stoner on the world's surface. You are fucking wonderful. "Hey girl, ya hungry?" Now it's time for you to say "FUCK you, nigga!" lmao, Thanks for smokin' out with me. Thanks for helping me move on from shithead Allen (even though I should really thank him, too, for introducing us) and thanks for everything else you could've possibly done for me.
Thank you, Chelsie & Rob for being wonderful people, Bleh! I really can't thank you enough for helping me out. I feel honoured to have you two as my friends. You're great and I don't ever want to see you fucking change, dammit! Thanks for the Starbucks, for taking me everywhere, and for so much more. I love you, both!
//Everyone else, I don't know what to say. I feel blessed to the bone that I have such great friends... and you all mean so much to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
3rd September 2004
* // Dicks Are For
My day was okay, I guess. Right now I am very tired. I'm gonna go to bed early. I was planning on watching "Nightmare Before Christmas" after this, but I might be too sleepy to. Tomorrow morning definitely. The highlight of the day was when I hung out with Frankie afterschool. His friend Kelly is uber-cool. Kelly hung out at the park with us for a little while, and then it was just me and Frankie. Let me talk about Frankie. First of all, I think he's a great person with a great sense of style and an awesome personality. The only thing that's preventing me from falling for him is that he's not trying hard enough, I guess. His redundancy on telling me how wonderful I am is wonderful, but now it's become very cliché. He did give me a few things. That was sweet. I am into him. I really like him. But... It's not the same feelings as I had for Allen or Richard. It's awkward. Maybe it's his age and his unexperienced lifestyle. I made out with him tonight. He never made out with anyone before. And you can tell. I mean, he wasn't bad, but I want to get turned on. I want experience. I want him to be fucking experienced. Maybe I expect too much from people. Maybe no one's perfect for me. Oh well. I guess I'll have to deal. Anyways, he's wonderful, but at the same time I just don't know what I want right now...
1] What are you wearing RIGHT NOW? Steel-toe boots, black jeans, Cradle of Filth T-Shirt, red/black striped armwarmer, bracelets and wristbands. :
 Do you like "toe socks"? Naw, it's cool.
 Have you ever worn Black Lipstick? Sure have.
 Which is better: Plaid or Checkered? They're both beat, but I like plaid.
 Which is better: Pizza or Cookies? Pizza, dammit!
 Would you rather listen to: Jack Off Jill or Kittie? Jack Off Jill.
 Have you ever given yourself a tattoo, piercing? No... I'm a pussy and I don't want to risk it.
 If so, tell us why: N/A
 Have you ever ran from the aliens that show up in your backyard at the same time every night? Once a week... Why can't they just LEAVE ME BE!!!?
 Ever dyed your hair orange/yellow on purpose? No, but I bleached the front and dyed it pink. On purpose.
 Ever captured a frog and then forget about him and let him die in your closet? I don't think so...
 Ever licked the floor of a public bathroom? No, but a public kitchen, I believe.
 Ever given a blind man your phone number? lol, no...
 Mod or Rudie? Eh?
 Porno video or blow-up doll? Porn, most definitely.
 69 or 666? 666
 rock, rap, or rock-rap? rock
 Peas or carrots? carrots.
 Ever put socks on a cat? Dunno...
 Happy or crazy? Crayzee...
 Yes or no? Say WHAT?!? FUCK NO!!!
 Subway or taxi? Haven't taken either, so it's hard to say.
 Motorcycle or vespa? Motorcycle.
 Eh or ah? Eh?
 Punk or metal? Metal, baby. \m/
 oldskool or newskool? oldskool
 60's or 70's? 70's
 the simpsons or king of the hill? daria
 Brody Armstrong or Tim Armstrong? Brody... + drools +
 Kathleen Hanna or Brody Armstrong? Brody... + drools +
 chucks or boots? Boots.
 weed or alcohol? WEED.
 spiked hair or unspiked hair? It don't matta.
 Vegan or Meat eater? Smell my meat breath!!!
 Sex Pistols or The Unseen? Sex Pistols.
 Choking Victim or LeftOver Crack? + shrugs +
 Donuts or Pancakes? Pancakes.
 pb&j or ham and cheese? Pb&J
 small, medium, or large? I like 'em BIG.
 has your nose ever fallen asleep? Uhhh... I dunno...
2nd September 2004
* // Us Or Them
So I went to my dad's today. We had dinner over there. Beforehand, we stopped by Kory's so I could drop him off my Kittie and Jack Off Jill CD's in exchange for a copy of his Cure CD. I went to my dad's and helped my mom make dinner. I also talked to Coral, Corinne, Brittney, and Kory on the phone for a short while. I watched TV with Nicole and Patty later came over. Granny was being her usual self and she kept calling and calling, requesting more service for her highness. Lucas had been stalling my mom by playing video games with her. I wanted to go... I'm impatient. Well, finally we left and we went by Kory's to get the CD's. I'm listening to The Cure. I fucking LOVE that band. I can't wait for tomorrow. I wanna see Frankie-boi. Oh, and Scott confessed his love for me on AU. Haha, sweet. :-D
* // Nazi Halo
My day was good, I suppose. I actually was anticipating today. I had been waiting all day to hang out with Patrice (Lyra) and Frankie at lunch, and I finally did. We hung out in my old group... Kim and Monica, Kira, Shaunna, bleh. We might go somewhere else, but I don't know. Frankie let me borrow his "Nightmare Before Christmas" DVD, Collector's Edition, as well as his Static-X CD. This boi's so sweet. He said that he wanted to also buy me purple/black striped socks. He was wearing black/white striped socks today and they were hott. :-D Frankie gave me his notebook full of art and he also gave me his poetry. You know, for a freshman this boi's got some skill. It's not all cheesy like the rest I've read. He's so wonderful... I'm starting to have a small thing for him. I can't really make eye contact with him or else I'd be forced to full-on make-out with him... He's kind of irresistable. + shrugs + Am I moving on from Allen too fast? I don't know... but I don't care. That is all I really have to say about that... So BYE.
1st September 2004
* // The Outsider
So I went to the doctor's today. I was at school for 3 classes. They were kind of dull. Gina's class is the only one that actually keeps my attention. French is my favourite class. Before school Lyra had given me one of her armwarmers. It's red-and-black striped and it has stars on it. PE we played Volleyball again. My teammates are rather rude to me. Sorry that I'm not an athlete? After PE, I met up with Lyra and she walked me to my Cultural Arts class. The emo kids piss me the fuck off. Frankie came up from behind me and called my name. I was happy to see him, but at the same time I was sad that I wasn't gonna be there for lunch. He took the other armwarmer from Lyra, the same one I have. So now we're twins, yay. Cultural Arts I finished taking notes and we watched a movie on how to make paper, an instructional video preview of our next project. We're gonna learn how to make paper, Egyptian style, baby. I got put on this one shit for my sinuses and my throat. It's a nasal spray. My mom and Travis were prescribed the same stuff. After the appointment we went to the apartment so I could get clothes and shit to go to Dad's to stay the night. She took me to Dad's to drop off some things and then she took me and my textbooks to Apple Valley High. I went onto the campus and said Hello to whoever was outside of their class. The bell rang and most of the people who knew me ran up to me in astonishment and gave me a GIANT hug. Lindsey came up and flew into my arms, and then Taylor came to me in the distance and she was fucking happy to see me. Then Charlie saw me and gave me a huge hug. Deborah came and hugged me, too... And so did Alex and Tara and CJ and April and... Oh, and I saw Coral there, too. She saw me and she was like "DANNY!" and what I did last year was scream her name at the top of my voice so I did, "CORAL!!!" Then I saw Cassie and she walked with me for a while. Charlie hung with me, as well. Then we saw Kory and he was like "Dani, I'm kidnapping you. You're coming to my house." The only person I didn't see that I wanted to see was Becky... I miss that woman. So after saying Hello to other people we headed to Mrs. Prince's room... I said HELLO to Mrs. Prince and gave her a big hug and she told me to come back sometime and she gave me a newspaper. Mike Failla's the new Editor-In-Chief. I had a flashback of last year when Dayna was Editor-In-Chief and that at the beginning of the year I was so antisocial and I stayed away from the staff... Finally I grew fond of them and then Dayna and I became on talking terms. I wonder how she is... I left Mrs. Prince's room and I went to the 'T' wing so I could go to the library. They rennovated the library and the offices, so they moved the library into portables for now... I dropped my text books off there since Mrs. Williams wasn't there, and I hope she gets them. I also left someone a note to tell her that I said Hi. I know she wanted to see me, too. So then Cassie, Kory, Charlie, and I headed out to Kory's mom's van. I bid Cassie adieu and we went to Kory's house. At Kory's we went in his room and talked and he played Final Fantasy and listened to music, and then we listened to Charlie's Screamo Emo music. lol, He's like the only emo kid I can stand. We were play-flirting cuz he's bi. He's one cool cat, mmhmm. Then I put on make-up and I looked pretty. And Kory told us to help him with his hair because we were gay... and Kory is bi himself, lol. We fucked up his hair. Je suis égoïste... We all stared at ourselves in the mirror. Kory finally gave me back my "Thirteenth Step" CD, so I'm listening to that now. A Perfect Circle rules. Later I had to walk home and then... I watched TV, ate a sandwich, smoked a cigarette with Nikki, and talked on the phone with Sarah, my love. Later I fell asleep on the couch and my dad took me home about 30 minutes ago. He bought us cookies 'n cream ice cream. Yay! I talked to Frankie a few minutes ago and... I'm flattered once again... Anyways, I am really really hot inside my room, so I need to cool down somewhere. I'm-a go. Bye, y'all.
31st August 2004
* // And Then Some...
I talked to Frankie on the phone today. Oh God, he's so cool. We talked for like 2 hours. It started when Kim gave him my number and he wanted to talk to another "bisexual" because he was confused. He called me and then I confirmed that he was gay and confused. I also just found out that he was a freshman. He seemed older than he was. His vision is still stained in my skull... I feel like a pedophile. I am 17 and he is 14. He turns 15 Halloween, but still I feel like a cradle-robber. Bleh! Later in the conversation he told me that I was fucking cool and he called me a Saviour and that I was godly and that people needed to bow down to my greatness, or something like that. I was rather charmed by his compliments, but at the same time I am fighting back things. I don't want to be a pedo... Oye, what should I do? I think he's fucking hot and stuff... He told me that he thought I was HOTTT and that I was perfect in every way. Physically and emotionally. We like similar music and we connect on a lot of similar grounds. He is rather mature for his age. I give him major kudos. He's a wonderful person and I'm glad to have met him. I don't know where this is going to lead in the future, but we'll have to see. He's sad that I'm not gonna be there at Lunch tomorrow because I have a doctor's appointment, but when I come back on Thursday he, Lyra, and I are going to form a new group. I'd rather not be around Allen. He's so annoying and I don't want to put up with his immaturity. Neither do Frankie and Lyra. And we are going to have other people follow us as well. It's going to fantabulous. Tomorrow I'm gonna go to my dad's after my appointment at the doctor's. And then I'm gonna walk to AVHS to see some old friends and to drop off some books. I miss AVHS, so this will be cool. :-P And I'll be staying the night, so whatever happens tomorrow will be... Yeah. I just was dropped off by Ashely and Chuck. As you know, we haven't seen eachother for over a month and a half. The last time we saw eachother was when I stayed the weekend at Allen's house. Not fuckhead Allen, but my ex... Wait, fuckhead Allen : #2
. I walked to Thunderbird park and met Frankie there. Him and I sat on the grass and talked for a while. He complimented me on my red lipstick and told me that I looked hot as hell in it. He compared me to Robert Smith from The Cure. Nice compliment, but I still don't see it. He was wearing his Cure shirt and he looked pretty damn cute himself. GOD, I SOUND LIKE A PEDO... Ahem, ahem. He had to leave eventually. Oh well... I'll see him Thursday. :-) Ashely and I hung out for a bit then she and Chuck had to take me home. We're gonna hang out later this week, hopefully. Oh, and at school today I got weed... from a kid in my art class. I'm gonna save it for this weekend when I go to Brittney's house. I think I have like 3 or 4 bowls. Rob said that he's gonna see if Chelsie and Corinne wanna go. Well, I know Corinne wants to, but yeah. And I might see if Frankie can come along, too, if Brittney doesn't mind... But since that is all I have to say for now, I'm going to depart... I'm gonna wake up early and get to the first bus stop. Heather has coffee! She gave me some this morning and... Yeah. Bye.
* // Personal Jesus
I'm in my Business Math class here at Granite Hills. I'm taking notes at the same time; I'm a multi-tasker. Yesterday morning was cool. Josh picked me up and took me to Starbuck's and bought me a caramel mocha frappuccino. How great. Then we went to school... I love Gina. She's the coolest teacher in the world. Today was mile day. As usual, I hate mile day but I stilll participated. Yesterday my mom picked me and Travis up around '11 to take us to the doctor's. Well, it turns out that our doctor's appointment isn't until tomorrow, Wednesday. She took us out for Mexican food and dropped us off. There's a really really hott guy that hangs out in the other group I hang out with at Lunch. His name is Frankie. Apparently he and Allen (not my stupid ex) have a small thing... I told someone today that Allen's no competition compared to me, and they agreed. I don't want commitment, though. Today we had a fire drill during our American History test, and we had a bunch of false-alarms during 5th. Lunch was nice. Allen is kind of annoying, but I can deal. When I say annoying, that boi is OUT THERE. Oh well... Yesterday I went straight home and went online all day. I have no life... I might do the same thing today. Bleh! Oh, I ride on a new bus now! The buses were crowded before, but now they added a new bus. So that's always good. Anyways, I am tired and I might catch a few minutes of z's before I study. So, now I go!
29th August 2004
* // (s)AINT
So I went back to my dad's tonight. We had dinner there... Shrimp and crab cakes. It was wonderful. And I saw "Kill Bill vol. 2" for the first time and I fucking loved it. Right now I am in a chatroom and I'm drinking a peach tea. I talked to Corinne online and she told me about The Cure. I am glad that she had a fucking great-ass time. Shit, I wanted to go... I'm waiting for my mom to get to work so I can have a cigarette. I might as well find something to do with myself, school-wise. I need to get caught up in English anyways.
28th August 2004
Last nite was really interesting. I ended up going over to Deila's after all later that night. My mom left for the weekend and she actually gave me permission to stay there. She felt bad that she always kicked me out of the house on the weekends. I am sitting here listening to The Faint and Coral's laying on my bed. We're gonna go watch "Jawbreaker" in a few minutes. I gothed myself out and later on Chelsie and Rob picked me up last nite. We drove to Starbucks & Rob bought me and Chelsie a caramel frappuccino and I bought cigarettes (with my money, mind you)(buy 1, get one free; i'm so happy). We sat outside Starbucks and talked for like an hour, then we went over to Chelsie's so we can get cigarettes, then we went to the liquor store to get more cigarettes, then we went to Deila's. Sarah and Coral hung out with us outside. Later on Deila and Jason came home. We went inside and started drinking. I didn't get drunk 'til later. Coral and I kind of laughed when Sarah was shitfaced. She was crying over things and she said really funny things. She was extremely bi-polar, too. Coral was singing and playing her guitar. It was funny shit. She was singing about Sarah when she was in the bathroom... "Sarah's barfing up her lungs... Bleagh! Bleagh! Bleagh!!" Lmao! Chelsie got pretty drunk, too. But I like drinking with Chelsie, because she's a fun person to drink with. She doesn't get dramatic like Sarah does, but she's all cool and she's funny. Sarah cries and complains. And Deila cleans, lol. Coral doesn't get drunk anymore, and neither does Rob (and I don't blame them). Jason just stands there acting all cool with a beer in his hand. He looks like Hank Hill, lol. But I finally got drunk. I felt the intoxication. I've come to the conclusion that I do not like drinking anymore. I'm gonna stop. I might have a Smirnoff occasionally, but I can't do with heavy drinking anymore. I threw up. I hate getting sick when I'm trying to enjoy myself. Plus, sometimes I can be a bitchy drunk person. I am not gonna get drunk anymore. Everyone wants me to take shots and I normally retaliate. I hate the taste of alcohol, I hate the taste of beer. I only drink because I want to feel the intoxication. Not anymore, though. I'm just gonna stick with weed. It's so much safer to me and it calms the hell out of me. I love weed. Alcohol's gay. I also remember making out with Sarah last nite and I tried to have sex with her. Chelsie and Rob left later on. I'm gonna see them tonite when they come back from LA. I'm SUPPOSED to go to Brittney's, but I don't know now. Coral wants to come along, so I'm gonna see if she can. If we end up not going, it's not even a huge deal. I have other people I can go see. Plus, it's nice having the house to myself for the weekends anyways. But this morning Deila kicked me and Coral out because her mom was coming. Coral and I are just chilling here. Earlier we were in a chatroom and Coral whipped out her guitar again and started singing and playing. This time she sang what people said. It was fucking great. And my hand really hurts. I think I'm developing carpal tunnel. I should just stop typing. Okay, "Jawbreaker" is summoning us... Now we go!!
25th August 2004
Have you ever... :
[ ] been drunk. Definitely.
[ ] smoked pot. No shit.
[ ] kissed a member of the opposite sex. Mmhmm.
[ ] rode in a taxi. Nope.
[ ] been dumped. Sadly.
[ ] shoplifted. Maybe?
[ ] been fired. No.
[ ] been in a fist fight. No.
[ ] had sex. Once.
[ ] had a threesome - kissing or otherwise. Yeah
[ ] snuck out of your parent's house. Sure have.
[ ] been arrested. Taken in to custody is different.
[ ] made out with a stranger. Yeah.
[ ] stole something from your job. Nope.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square. Naw.
[ ] went on a blind date. Nopers.
[ ] lied to a friend. Sometimes.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher. Teachers = nasty.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans. I wish.
[ ] been to europe. I wish.
[ ] skipped school. I think...
[ ] thrown up from drinking. Yeah.
[ ] lost your sibling. + shrugs +
[ ] played 'clue' Those were the days.
[ ] had a sleepover party. Sometimes.
[ ] went ice skating. No.
[ ] dropped x. Yes. That shit was fun.
[ ] cheated on a bf/gf. No, not really...
[ ] been cheated on. If you consider phonesex cheating, then yes I have.
[ ] had a sweet sixteen. Naw.
[ ] had a quinceañera. + shrugs +
[ ] had a car. No.
[ ] drove. A couple times.
[ ] have a bf. Naw.
[ ] have a gf. Nope.
[ ] have a crush. I don't keep crushes. I admire greatly.
[ ] feel loved. Sometimes.
[ ] feel lonely. Sometimes.
[ ] feel happy. Sometimes.
[ ] hate yourself. Sometimes.
[ ] think youre attractive. Sometimes.
[ ] have a dog. Yes. One at my mommy's and my daddy's.
[ ] have your own room. Thank the Goddess.
[ ] listen to rap. Fuck that shit.
[ ] listen to rock. Of course.
[ ] listen to soul. Nigga plz.
[ ] listen to techno. Mmhmm.
[ ] listen to reggae. I listen to some ska, not reggae.
[ ] paint your nails. Sure do.
[ ] have more than 1 best friend. Mmhmm.
[ ] play an instrument. I try to play the piano, but I suck at it.
[ ] have slippers. Yes.
[ ] wear boxers. Yes.
[ ] wear black eyeliner. All the time.
[ ] like the color blue. It's a'ight.
[ ] like the color yellow. No, not really.
[ ] cyber. I used to, now it's lame.
[ ] claim. Claim? I don't think so...
[ ] like to read. Eh... Sometimes.
[ ] like to write. Most definitely.
[ ] have long hair. It's getting there.
[ ] have short hair. It's kind of short.
[ ] have a cell phone. I wish.
[ ] have a laptop. Naw...
[ ] have a pager. Can't say I do.
[ ] ugly. Maybe...
[ ] pretty. I think so.
[ ] ok. Eh...
[ ] bored. Very.
[ ] happy. Eh...
[ ] bilingual. Yo hablo un poquito espanol.
[ ] white. Yes'm.
[ ] black. Nigga plz.
[ ] mexican. Yes'm.
[ ] asian. ...
[ ] short. Naw.
[ ] tall. I think so.
[ ] grounded. Nope.
[ ] sick. In the head.
[ ] a virgin. I wish.
[ ] lazy. Mostly.
[ ] single. Yes.
[ ] taken. Naw.
[ ] looking. No, not really.
[ ] not looking. That's more like it.
[ ] talking to someone. Well, Scott...
[ ] IMing someone. Brittney.
[ ] scared to die. Not really.
[ ] tired. Kind of.
[ ] sleepy. Refer to above fucking answer.
[ ] annoyed. Not really.
[ ] hungry. Naw...
[ ] thirsty. Kind of.
[ ] on the phone. No.
[ ] in your room. Yes.
[ ] drinking something. I think I will.
[ ] eating something. No.
[ ] in your pjs. Not yet.
[ ] ticklish. I have a weak spot, but other than that.
[ ] listening to music. Lacuna Coil, but other than that my Techno mix is still in my head.
* // Agenda Suicide
Name: Dani. :
1. Nicknames: Homogay?
2. Birthday? Mar. 7.
3. Age: 17.
4. Sex: I have a pee-pee.
5. Where do you live: Apple Valley, CA.
6. What school do you attend? GHHS.
8. Pets: A doggie and a kittie.
9. Zodiac Sign: Pisces.
10. Righty or Lefty: Righty.
11. Hair color: Black.
12. Eye color: Fecal Matter Brown.
13. Height: 6'2".
14. Do u wear contacts or glasses? Glasses, sometimes.
15. Do you have any piercings? GOD I wish. I'm po'.
16. Do you wear rings? I just said I was po'.
17. Do you have a certain fashion you follow? Not necessarily. I wear black a lot, but other times I don't.
18. How are you today? Tired.
19. What pants are you wearing right now? Blue plaid PJ's.
20. What shirt are you wearing right now? A grey shirt.
21. What does your hair look like at the moment? Very nasty.
22. What song are u listening to right now? My techno mix.
23. What was the last thing you ate? Vanilla ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.
24. Last person you talked to on the phone? Brittney.
25. Last Dream you can remember? + shrugs +
26. Last time you took a bath? Yesterday.
27. What numbers are missing from this survey? + shrugs +
28. What are the last four digits of your phone number? 4008
29. If u were a crayon, what color would you be? Midnight Purple. Or black.
30. Have you ever almost died? Nope.
33. What's the next CD you are going to buy? I don't buy CD's. But "Lest You Forget".
35. Have u ever won any special award? + shakes head +
36. Worst sickness u ever had? I don't know...
37. What's the stupidest thing u ever done? Too much.
38. If u could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I would become less selfish and I would lose more weight.
39. Where do you shop the most? I dunno. Barnes & Noble.
40. How many kids do you want to have? Haha, kids?
41. Sons name? Gretchen.
42. Daughters? Bubba.
43. Do you do drugs? Yes.
44. Shampoo? Yes.
45. What are you least afraid of? Your Mom.
46. What are you most scared of? Abandonment.
47. How many TV's do you have in your house? 5?
48. Do you have your own tv? Yes.
49. Do you have your own phone line? No.
50. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No.
51. Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone? I sprained my ankle once.
53.Who do you tell your dreams to? Almost everyone.
54. Who's the loudest friend you have? Coral.
55. Who's the quietest friend? Haha, since when did I have a quiet friend?
56. Is cheerleading a sport? It could be...
57. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I can go on forever, baby.
58. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Your Mom!
59. Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Nope.
60.You have a crush? Maybe...
61. Who is your crush? Scott, of course.
63. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? My bedroom?
65. Do you find yourself attractive? Sometimes.
66. Do you find yourself ugly? Sometimes.
68. Curly or straight hair? Straight.
69. Tall or short: Indifferent. As long as they're not freakishly tall or freakishly short.
70. Six pack or muscular arms? Six packs are nice, but I don't like my men too muscular.
71. Good or bad guys? Bad bois... :-P
73. tan or no tan? Usually I don't care, but the lighter the better. And no chocolate for me, thanks.
74. Dimples or not? Dimples are cute! But it's not imperative.
75. Stubble or neatly shaven: It don't matter.
76. What sport should he play? Sex...
98. Lights on/off? Off.
99. Sun or rain? rain.
101. Do u like scary or happy movies better? Either or.
102. Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? They both can go into the organ grinder.
103. On the phone or in person? In person.
104. Paper or plastic? Plastic,
105. Sausage or pepperoni? Pepperoni.
106. Summer or winter? Winter
107. Hugs or kisses? Kisses.
108. Chocolate or white milk: White.
109. Root Beer or Dr. pepper? Dr. Pepper.
110. Glass half full or half empty? Half full.
111. Tape or DVD: DVD.
112. Cats or Dog? Cats.
113. Vanilla or Chocolate? Vanilla.
114. Skiing or Boarding: Boarding.
116. Cake or pie? Pie.
117. Diamond or pearl: Pearls.
118. Sunset or sunrise: Sunrise.
119. Color: Black / Burgandy / Dark Purple / Hot Pink
120. food: Mexican / Chinese
121. Fast Food? Jack in the Box.
122. Candy? Skittles.
123. Beverage? + shrugs +.
124. Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate chip cookie dough.
125. Sport? Bleh!
126. Animal? Black cats and ravens I like.
127. Number? 17.
128. Radio Station: 103.9, 106.5
129. Band or singer? Marilyn Manson.
131. Fav. day of the year? Halloween.
132. Fav. month: October.
133: Cologne or Perfume: Either or.
134. Store: Arts and crafts stores and record stores.
135. Scent? Rain.
136. Teacher? Dunno.
139. Ever gotten dumped? Twice.
140. Broken the law? Yes.
141. Ran from the cops? Not really...
142. Stole something? Yes.
143. Tried to kill yourself? No, but I used to think about it a lot.
144. Made yourself throw up? Naw.
145. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? No
146. Favorite TV Show: I don't watch much TV.
147. The word i most over use: Indeed or Yay.
24th August 2004
* // Peachy-
My day was decent. This morning I ran a little late and I had to get my make-up on at school. I saw Josh for the first time since Thursday. I missed that homo. I learned more in French class. I need to learn more French. It's great. And it was Mile Day in P.E. GOD, I hate running the mile... It's so gay. And in Cultural Arts, I continued working on my shroom project. It's neat-o. And in my American Government class, we took a quiz. We read "Macbeth" in British Literature, and in Business Math we did assignments on the board. Afterschool, I came home and made a snack and came online, which is what I normally do. Pretty soon I'm gonna go meet my friend Christian at the park so we can socialize. She most likely is going to bum cigarettes off of me, but I don't care. I bought a pack the other day and I'm down to 4 already. It's not all me, though. Bitches like to take mine. Oye... I can't wait 'til this weekend. I hope everything goes well. I wanna stay at Deila's Friday night and get shitfaced and I wanna go to Brittney's Saturday night and get stoned shitless. And stuff. I saw "Jawbreaker" last night... That movie is fucking great, man. I think Rose McGowan's fucking hott. This is coming from my supposedly gay self. I don't think I have nothing else to say so I'm-a leave. Bye, niggaz!!!